simplisticself;complicatedworld

Today was the day. The day of the examination. A step forward. It was the chinese o level. I did not feel prepared. My chinese was no superb nor excellent. I just felt that i was risking. Today was not a good day. I felt really down after the oral. I was the second to take. Naturally, i was nervous. Took deep breathes to cool myself down. But it was to no avail. It was my turn to prepare for the oral. The very first word. "lu xing" the lu. I actually forgotten how to read. Its disappointing. But i figured it out somehow. There were some other words. But i just tikam tikam. I was already stammering as i was reading it to myself. Time was passing very quickly. Within nano seconds, i found myself sitting in front of the examiners. Fear. Just the very first sentence, i made lots of mistakes. I was overwrought. I felt as though i could not control myself. I was just reading everything in a whole lot of mess. Words jumbled up, words cant seem to come of my mouth, everything that came out was just like a heap of rubbish. I was utterly disappointed. This was the first oral whereby i read till as though it was first time reading chinese. I stammered all the way. Why? I did not know why. Then was the conversation. Pretty bad i guess. I was just in the examination room for just 5 mins and i was out. I was the fastest. This showed that i said very little things. Then we met at the quarantine room. Discussed a little. I felt as though i was doomed. Then went to bandstore. Solo like had tears in his eyes. Talking more about it, i felt really bad. My eyes watered. But i did not let it out. Then stacey came back. She cried too. Then followed by huiying. She was crying too. Then we had no choice, all of us went out to sit. Sat down there. I cried. I know its no use crying over spilled milk. But i just could not take it. I could not cry out loud. I bottled up everything. I felt noone was there. I was just all alone. Noone considered my feelings. I felt that the most important people in my life did not know me. Communication was lacking. Time pass and thats the effect. My life seemed so perfect to them. I feel as though they had neglected me. Haiz. Maybe i am thinking too much at this point. Three times. I cried three times. Only i knew it.

BINGO

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That's me

Ng Ling Mei has seen the world changing for 19 years.
Wonderful aries that has since seek great independence on 29 March 1990
Clarinetist of DW and MJCSB

Thoughts

affiliates

[[=Sis=]]
[[=Bernice=]]
[[=Ching hong=]]
[[=Charmaine=]]
[[=Chelsea=]]
[[=Chermaine=]]
[[=Christine Chua=]]
[[=Christine Tan=]]
[[=Cindy=]]
[[=Clarissa=]]
[[=Daizhen=]]
[[=Debbie=]]
[[=Doublereeds=]]
[[=Eeling=]]
[[=Elisia=]]
[[=Elissa=]]
[[=Eunice=]]
[[=Fazilah=]]
[[=Felicia=]]
[[=Grace=]]
[[=Hakim=]]
[[=Huishan=]]
[[=Huiying=]]
[[=Hwee Lin=]]
[[=Jacky=]]
[[=Jasmine=]]
[[=Jia Hui=]]
[[=Jian Xin=]]
[[=Jia Yu=]]
[[=Jing Jing=]]
[[=Joan=]]
[[=June=]]
[[=Kamin=]]
[[=Karen=]
[[=Keechen=]]
[[=Kelly=]]
[[=kelly Zhu=]]
[[=Kexian=]]
[[=Kwok Foong=]]
[[=Longbao=]]
[[=Melissa Koh=]]
[[=Melissa Oh=]]
[[=Melissa Tan=]]
[[=Michelle=]]
[[=Mindy=]]
[[=PeiJun=]]
[[=Philip=]]
[[=Priscilla=]]
[[=Qijun=]]
[[=Rabia=]]
[[=Rachel=]]
[[=Rizal=]]
[[=Rozane=]]
[[=Samantha=]]
[[=Sebastian=]]
[[=Seeheng=]]
[[=Seesoon=]]
[[=Shaheera=]]
[[=Shirley=]]
[[=Shuhuan=]]
[[=Stacey=]]
[[=Teck Wun=]]
[[=TP rawks=]]
[[=Vanessa=]]
[[=Vincent=]]
[[=Weichyi=]]
[[=Weishi=]]
[[=Wusuan=]]
[[=Xinyi=]]
[[=XiuLi=]]
[[=Yaju=]]
[[=Yuehan=]]
Since 03072008